


Need

by Gumnut



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Brothers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-23 14:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23079904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gumnut/pseuds/Gumnut
Summary: We need to do what we need to do.Spoilers for Season 3
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Need
> 
> Part One
> 
> Author: Gumnut
> 
> 8 Mar 2020
> 
> Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS
> 
> Rating: Teen
> 
> Summary: We need to do what we need to do.
> 
> Word count: 1944
> 
> Spoilers & warnings: Season 3
> 
> Timeline: Sometime after the end of season 3
> 
> Author’s note: this last week saw my muse completely fry under stress, mostly from work. I didn’t write for something like five days. I couldn’t write. It was bad. Nutty was a frazzled mess. So, when I did start writing, I didn’t care what I wrote as long as I managed to get something down on the page after being unable to for so long. So, we have the beginning of another fic. I have written and completed Part Two and am into Part Three so there is more to come, I promise. This does not mean I’m abandoning any of my other WIPs, I just need to be kind to myself or I’ll end up writing nothing. This is better than nothing, trust me. I hope you enjoy it anyway.
> 
> This is in answer to the ‘brain trauma’ prompt from the whump prompt list. Many thanks to @sofasurf for the suggestion and the plotwork chat ::hugs you::
> 
> Many thanks to @scribbles97 and @i-am-chidorixblossom for the read throughs and reassurance.
> 
> Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.
> 
> -o-o-o-

“Dad, I’m over eighteen. It’s my leave, I can do what I want.”

It was said calmly, without malice, but Virgil still frowned as he walked into the comms room.

“Regardless, Alan, I still don’t think it is a very good idea.”

Just as equally calm and considered. Their father was standing near his desk frowning at Alan who was in the sunken lounge not quite glaring up at his father.

“It is safe, Dad. The track has the best safety record on the planet.”

“It is still car racing, Alan.”

“I fly a rocket. How can racing a car be more dangerous than that?”

“It isn’t the car. It’s all the other cars that complicate the matter.”

“That’s what makes it fun!”

“Alan-“

“I really want to do this, Dad.” A swallow. “And I’m going to. I’m sorry.”

Virgil watched as his father straightened, his expression stiffening. “I only want you to be safe, son.”

Alan climbed up out of the pit and approached their dad. “I know.” A hug was offered and the older man drew his son into his arms.

Only Virgil could see the desperation in his father’s expression as he scrunched his face up behind Alan’s shoulder and the engineer realised neither of them knew he was there. Virgil had the sudden urge to backtrack and get out of the room before they discovered him.

Too late.

A pair of grey eyes opened and caught sight of him and widened just slightly.

Father and son parted. Alan, still unaware of Virgil’s presence, looked up at their dad. “I’ll do you proud, I promise.”

Their father looked down. Quietly. “You already have.”

A nudge and Dad indicated Virgil’s presence.

Alan jumped.

And so he should. This was a discussion that had already occurred between Scott, Virgil and Alan on several occasions. Sure, now his brother was eighteen and technically he could do what he wanted, but Scott had forbidden it multiple times already.

“Oh, hey, Virg.”

“Alan.” He put everything he needed into his little brother’s name.

Dad frowned.

Virgil narrowed his gaze to the young astronaut. “Scott is working on One. You should go give him a hand.”

“Virg-“

“Now.”

Whispered. “FAB.” He slunk out of the room, his expression one of dread.

That left Virgil with his father.

“Hey, Dad.”

The older man turned back to his desk and poked at a holographic file. “Good morning, Virgil.”

“How are you feeling today?” He couldn’t help himself. He probably shouldn’t ask but his concern for his father was a physical thing that gnawed at him in the dark.

Those broad shoulders tensed up.

No, he really shouldn’t ask that question every morning. Damn.

“I’m fine, Virgil. You don’t need to worry.”

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

His father turned slightly to look at him. “It is understandable, but you really need to worry less.”

Virgil snorted. “Habit.” Scott had been worrying him for a lifetime. Dad was just a bonus round at this point.

Of course, that word earned him a frown. “Have you had breakfast?”

“Was on my way down.” When he heard his little brother wrangling his way into getting what he wanted. Scott was going to strangle him when he found out.

“Mind if I join you? A little brunch wouldn’t hurt.”

“What time did you get up?”

The grey glare hit him between his eyebrows and he threw up his hands in defence. “Okay, okay, no more questions about your health.”

“Your Grandma already roasted me this morning. The two of you are going to need to coordinate.”

He had to snort at that.

The two men trotted down the stairs to the kitchen together, rustled up a rather indulgent meal and decided to partake it out on the patio. For once in his life, Gordon was not in the pool, so they had the glorious morning to themselves.

He didn’t fail to notice that his father couldn’t help but stare up into the blue of the sky as if he couldn’t believe it was that colour.

Virgil focussed on his coffee and its gift of sanity, its warmth crawling into his belly and booting his brain.

“Has Alan been driving long?”

An arched eyebrow in his father’s direction. “Not really. He learnt a couple of years ago with Parker, like all of us, but he doesn’t get much of a chance to upkeep the skill.”

“Then why...?”

“He has a thrill-seeking friend. Brandon Berenger.” Initially, Virgil had thought it a great thing for Alan to hang out with the teenager. Scott had his reservations, but had agreed that living like a monk on an island in the middle of the Pacific was not healthy for any of them. Alan found a friend, so he spent time with him.

The problem was teenagehood.

The arguments were inevitable.

“Alan is not stupid, he just wants acceptance with his peer group.”

A wiry smile curled his Dad’s lips. “I remember that.” It slipped into a grin. “Do you still maintain all those piercings?”

“Daad!”

His father held up his hands. “Hey, I did warn you, but you were just as determined.”

Virgil glared at him over the rim of his coffee cup.

“The purple hair was particularly entertaining.”

“Oh god.”

His father snorted and laughed. “Don’t worry, son, we all look back and groan. Trust me.”

“Sure. I bet you were as sharp and as perfect as Scott.”

That earned him an arched eyebrow. “What gave you the idea that Scott was perfect?”

“Uh, the grade average and the air force uniform?”

Another snort.

“What?”

“Not my story to share.”

“Oh, c’mon, if you’ve got dirt on Scott...”

“Of course, I have, Virgil. I’m his father.” The grin was genuine. “It is my prerogative to know all the embarrassing things about my children.” But then the grin faltered.

Virgil reached out and grabbed the older man’s hand. “There is plenty more to come. I have no doubt that Alan will screw up multiple times between here and his twenty-first. Enough for a movie marathon, Dad. You’re here now, we value that more than you can know.”

A shaky exhale. “I’ve missed so much, Virgil.”

“We’re still here. We still love you. It wasn’t your fault.” He had said those words so many times in the last year. At his father’s bedside. In the dark of night after nightmares. He had done his best to reassure, to reinforce the man’s confidence.

The irony was that the father he knew before his stranding wouldn’t have taken so much notice of his son’s opinion. Their relationship and most definitely been father and son. Now the relationship had changed. Jeff Tracy wasn’t as strong as he used to be. He had been shaken, he doubted himself, thrown by what he had missed and didn’t know about his sons. Grandma was there for him, but it was with Virgil, not Scott, the man was willing to discuss some of his concerns.

Virgil was both grateful and worried about this state of affairs. He helped in any way he could. Caught between a sometimes frantic Scott and an injured father, it was a challenge. But if they needed him, he was there.

Of course, that was the very moment his comms went off.

“Hey, Virg, have you got a spare hydrospanner?”

Virgil rolled his eyes and thumbed his collar. “Gordon, where is yours?”

“Uh...”

“You know if you put them away when you’ve finished with them, you tend to be able to find them next time you want them.”

“Augh, yes, Mom.”

His father raised an eyebrow.

“You borrow mine, it goes back when you are finished.”

“I know the rules, Virg. Where have you stashed it. I’m in your workshop and I can’t find it.”

“Gordon-“

“I’m in a hurry, Virg. There’s coolant leaking all over the deck of module four.”

“What the hell, Gordon?”

“Kill me later, spanner now.”

Virgil shot an apologetic look at his father. “I’m coming down.”

“Virg-“ He killed the connection.

“I’ll be back in a moment, Dad.”

The eyebrow was still raised. “Take your time. Sounds like you’ll need it.”

Virgil glared at him and stalked his way down to the hangars.

-o-o-o-

Virgil loved his aquanaut brother, but although the fish could manage maintenance on his ‘bird, anything more complicated and he really needed a hand. Virgil was quite happy to be that hand on most occasions, but a little more notice would have been useful.

He left the aquanaut scrubbing the deck of module four and headed back upstairs to finish his breakfast.

He actually enjoyed moments with his father. They had connected in a way since he had come back that hadn’t been possible before. And he cherished it.

Of course, it hadn’t been perfect. He never expected it to be, but to have the chance to talk with his father in any way was such a blessing, he could only value the opportunity.

So, he was a little disappointed when he heard his father talking to someone else as he approached from the kitchen.

“You should be proud. He is so much like you.”

Virgil stopped where he was. Who?

“He has your eyes and your kindness, and such strength.” His father sighed and Virgil slipped quietly closer, trying to see who the man was talking to.

The patio was empty except for his father.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Lucy. I don’t know... I try to be their father, but they don’t need me anymore. And Alan...”

The lone figure fell silent and for a moment, his head dropped to stare at his hands in his lap.

“Alan is a young man I don’t know. I love him, honey, and I know you do, too, but I don’t know him. I’m trying. He’s trying. But...love, it’s hard.”

Virgil’s eyes widened and something in his heart snapped. “Dad?”

His father startled and spun in his seat. “Virgil?” But instead of embarrassment or worry, a grin split his face. “Did you save your brother?”

Virgil blinked, his whole emotional state sideswiped and struggling to right itself. “Uh, yeah, we got Four’s temperature regulation system back in one piece. I’ll need to restock our coolant supplies on our next run.” His father had been speaking to his mother. “Dad, you okay?”

Those grey eyes narrowed into a flat stare. “Haven’t we already had this conversation?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry.” His heart was thudding in his chest.

His father frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Dad, sure.”

Those grey eyes assessed him in a way eerily similar to his eldest son. “Gordon difficult?”

“Huh?” He blinked. “Oh, uh, no. He tries. I have to give him credit for that.”

“That is all we can ask of anyone.” Those eyes were still staring at him.

“Yeah. Uh, I need to speak to Scott. What have you got planned today?”

His father shrugged. “More catch up. Gordon has me for more rehab this afternoon.”

Virgil nodded once. His father was reading mission reports and Tracy Industries updates, slowly coming up to speed on what had happened over the last eight years, realigning himself knowledge-wise as his body slowly did the same. “See you at lunch?”

“Of course.” The frown deepened. “What is it, Virgil?”

Virgil straightened and took better control of himself. “I’m fine, Dad.” A blink. “Take it easy.”

Those grey eyes rolled in their sockets. “I couldn’t do anything else with you around, could I?”

Virgil’s smirk was forced.

“Love you, Dad.”

His father sobered a little, a small smile curling his lips. “Love you, too, Virgil.”

A soft smile, and Virgil turned and fled.

-o-o-o-

End Part One


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Need
> 
> Part Two
> 
> Author: Gumnut
> 
> 8 - 10 Mar 2020
> 
> Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS
> 
> Rating: Teen
> 
> Summary: We need to do what we need to do.
> 
> Word count: 2166
> 
> Spoilers & warnings: Season 3
> 
> Timeline: Sometime after the end of season 3
> 
> Author’s note: I had dental surgery this morning, but fortunately I wrote this a couple of days ago and only had to polish it and add an extra scene. I hope you enjoy it :D
> 
> This is in answer to the ‘brain trauma’ prompt from the whump prompt list. Many thanks to @sofasurf for the suggestion and the plotwork chat ::hugs you::
> 
> Many thanks to @scribbles97 and @i-am-chidorixblossom for the read throughs and reassurance.
> 
> Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.
> 
> -o-o-o-

Scott Tracy quite liked maintaining his ‘bird. He wasn’t a grease monkey like his engineer brother, but there was something meditative about caring for the great vessel that kept him safe. He listed it under his routine alongside his running and gym time. It was usually something he did by himself or with Virgil or Brains on hand for the more complicated repairs, both of whom were quiet company.

Alan was most certainly not quiet.

“It was the greatest. You should have seen him, Scott. Brandon beat all five of them to the finish line.”

This was the fifth blow by blow rendition of Brandon’s latest escapades. Scott didn’t miss the longing in his little brother’s voice and he couldn’t help but second guess the decision to let his teenage brother hang with the thrill seeker. He felt Alan was smart enough not to do anything stupid and Virgil had agreed, but now he was questioning that. There was a difference between Alan on and off duty.

“Sounds great, Alan.” He shoved the scanner into One’s port thruster assembly and checked the security of the welds and bolts.

Everything came up green.

“Why are you down here again?”

“Virgil said you needed help.”

“He did, did he?” That wasn’t a good sign. In fact, it was code for Alan doing something that Scott needed to know about. The fact his brother hadn’t followed up with that information was odd.

“What have you done now?”

That earned him a guilty frown. “Who says I’ve done anything?”

“What did Virgil want you to tell me?”

“Nothing.”

Scott turned in his harness and stared down at his little brother on the hangar floor. “Want to try that again?”

His brother’s entire body slumped a moment before straightening again in obvious defiance. “I’m going to race Cherry.”

Scott’s foot slipped on the skin of his ‘bird and he spun halfway around before he caught himself. “What? No, you’re not. We discussed this.”

Hands shot his little brother’s hips. “No, we didn’t. You talked. Virgil talked. I only got to listen while the both of you told me what to do.”

He looked down at his brother again. For the love of-! He shifted in his harness and lowered himself hurriedly to the floor. A flick of a hand, he disconnected from the safety rope and turned to face his brother. “Racing is dangerous.”

“So is flying Three, but you don’t hesitate to send me out, do you!”

“That is a risk for a reason. We risk our lives for the chance to save lives, not just to have fun!”

“So, I’m not allowed to have fun?”

“That is not what I am saying, Alan, and you know it.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, because I’m old enough to do what I want now and you can’t stop me.”

He almost took a step back. “Alan-“

“No, Scott. I’m an adult and this is my decision.” It was said calm, but firm.

He stared at his littlest brother, ever reminded of those early days, those blue eyes staring up at him in admiration, fear, hope and love. “Just trying to keep you safe, Allie.”

For a moment that stern face softened, but it hardened a moment later. “I have to do this, Scott. I need to find my own way.”

Alan was never going to be as tall as Scott, but he had gained a few inches over the last few years and could at least look Virgil in the eye. His littlest brother was an adult.

It was ever so hard to let go.

“You have to promise me you will follow safety protocols, that you will do your best to keep yourself safe. I don’t want a callout where I have to pick my own brother off those desert sands.”

Alan wilted just a little. “I will be fine, Scott. Don’t worry so much.”

He silently scoffed at that. Easier said than done. Reaching out, he grabbed his brother and pulled him into a hug. “Virgil’s going to kick your ass.”

A sigh. “I know.”

Speak of the devil, his dark-haired brother suddenly appeared in front of him. “Scott?” Virgil was pale and his frown screamed worry.

Scott let Alan go. “What’s wrong?”

Brown eyes flicked to Alan and Scott immediately knew this was eldest brother territory only.

Unfortunately, Alan didn’t miss the gesture and scowled at the medic. “Trying to get rid of me again?”

Virgil’s expression became desperate.

Scott reached up and put his hand on his littlest brother’s shoulder. “Could you excuse us a moment, Alan?”

Blue eyes turned towards him in scorn. “What? Are you kidding me?” He held up both hands and backed off, his whole stance reeking of sarcasm. “Oh, I am sorry. Big brother secret business.”

“Alan, please.” Virgil’s tone was pleading. Whatever was bugging Virgil was serious.

“No, Virgil, when are you going to treat me as an equal and not a three-year-old?”

“This isn’t about you!”

“Then what is it about?”

Scott bristled. “Alan!”

“Okay, you know what? I don’t care! Have your little secret meetings. I’m outta here anyway. Got better things to do.” Alan spun on his heel and stormed off to the elevator and disappeared between its doors.

What the hell? Scott stared after him for a solid several seconds.

“Scott?”

A blink and he turned to Virgil. The worry he found there shoved his concerns for Alan out of his mind. “What is it?”

“It’s Dad.”

-o-o-o-

It was so frustrating. Alan stormed through the villa to his rooms. He was going to pack and fly to Australia. It was his leave and he would use it as he liked. Molly coddling brothers be damned.

The thought of taking Cherry out on the dirt of the Outback was just too much to resist. Sure, he could race her on asphalt. He could gain higher speeds that way, but the challenge was in the dirt where her wheels spun and he almost floated above the road in manoeuvres requiring the same skills he used to spin Three in space.

And he craved the adrenalin. All these years it had been video games and simulators. None of it could compete with the dust, dirt and excitement of the real thing. The roar of atmosphere against the silence of space.

Not to mention the fact that Brandon had questioned his Earth-bound skills. Apparently, he may have it in space, but did he have it on the ground?

The challenge was one he was determined to meet. He was a Tracy, after all.

If only the other Tracys would finally realise that.

Each of his brothers had excelled in their chosen fields and yes, Alan adored space. But he had been in space so long, it was effortless.

He needed a challenge.

And the dirt was it.

Reaching his rooms, he threw what he needed into a bag and decided to buy anything he missed.

For a split second he almost commed John to advise him of his flight plan, but caught himself.

He didn’t want to have to explain himself again.

He was leaving.

He took the stairs down to the hangars and prepped Tracy Three for flight.

He taxied her to Two’s hangar door and activated it.

Or at least tried to. He hadn’t counted on Kayo.

-o-o-o-

“What about Dad?”

Something in Scott’s gut squirmed. He hadn’t seen Virgil so upset in a long time.

“He’s speaking to our mother.”

“What?”

Virgil bit his lip. “He was sitting on the patio, waiting for me, and when I came back, he was talking to ‘Lucy’.”

Scott stared at his brother.

Virgil ran a hand through his hair. “God, I don’t know. He was alone so long. He’s been through so much, I just thought-“

Scott grabbed his younger brother. “Hey, hey, take a breath.” This was so unlike his usually calm second, it had him concerned about Virgil as much as his father. He manoeuvred the engineer to a chair and sat opposite from him. “Start at the beginning.”

Virgil closed his eyes and drew in a breath. “I came across Alan declaring his adulthood to Dad.” His brother looked up. “Did he tell you he’s going to race that car of his?”

Scott nodded.

Virgil frowned. “Dad wasn’t happy but seemed fine. We sat down for breakfast. Gordon called with some trouble with Four. I went down to help. When I came back, Dad was sitting on the patio by himself talking to ‘Lucy’. H-He compared me to Mom and said how hard it was to try and be a father again. How he didn’t know Alan. I...I don’t know. I guess it just scared me.” His brother looked down at his hands.

A forced calm settled over Scott. They had been ever so lucky with Dad’s health. So much more damage could have been done. If he hadn’t crashed into that planetoid that gave him at least some gravity, things could have been so much worse. The bone degradation on those scans had Scott changing John’s rotational period the moment they got home. It was a long road back with a lot of pain to get his father fully comfortable in Earth normal gravity. Thank goodness for Five. Thank goodness for so many things.

Of course, his father’s mental health had been a major concern. There had been doctors specialising in PTSD, isolation and space psychoses. Bar a few obvious issues, their father’s mental health had been surprisingly good.

There were nightmares, sensitivities to too much sound or too many people. Several of these were things Virgil, or for that matter, John, were familiar with, so those two brothers had fielded those issues.

There had been no sign of hallucinations or any need to speak to dead people.

Scott squeezed his brother’s shoulder. “Okay. We watch him. It may be nothing.” He caught Virgil’s worried, brown eyes. “If it becomes a problem, we speak to him, we speak to some specialists.”

Another deep breath. “Okay. Okay.”

It was odd. Leading up to rescuing their father, it had been Scott who was frantically worried and Virgil was the calm rock keeping him sane. Since they brought Dad home, they had swapped roles. It was like Virgil was terrified the man was going to disappear again. He hovered. He fussed. Bar a rescue, Virgil was never far from their father.

This wasn’t the first time Scott had had to calm his brother down due to his father showing a symptom of his trauma.

It was becoming a serious concern.

“Are we good?”

Virgil blinked. “Of course.”

Scott nodded in the direction of One. “Want to give me a hand?”

The engineer looked up at the towering Thunderbird. “Sure.”

The distraction worked and it wasn’t long before Virgil returned to the more familiar calm brother he knew, working quite happily alongside him.

But Scott was worried and his thoughts distracted him for the rest of his time with his ‘bird..

-o-o-o-

“Where do you think you are going?”

Alan jumped as his sister stepped in front of Tracy Three. Her voice over comms was firm.

“I’m on leave, Kayo. I’m going to Australia.”

“Without contacting John with a flight plan? Without saying goodbye to your father or your brothers?”

“They know where and why I’m going.”

“I’m not going to give you clearance.”

“You? C’mon, Kayo, you know what it is like. They don’t treat me as an adult.”

“Perhaps if you behaved like one, they would be more inclined.”

The betrayal in her words burned in his stomach. “What would you know?”

“I know enough. Alan, stop being dramatic and act like the reasonable man I know you are.”

He glared at her. Kayo had always been the one who understood his point of view. She was older than him, but had battled with Scott even more than Alan had.

“They won’t let me do what I need to do!”

“Now, you’re just lying to me. If you think I wouldn’t track your recent activities when you start acting erratic like this, you’re not giving me any credit. Both your father and Scott gave you grudging permission.”

He didn’t answer that, because she was right. He was throwing a tantrum. “Virgil-“

“Is just worried, and rightfully so. Are you aware of the accident rate on those outback tracks?”

“Kayo, I know, okay? I will be careful.”

“Don’t put your family through this.”

“It isn’t about family. For once in my life, this is about me and only me. No responsibility. No brothers!”

“It will always be about family, Alan.”

“Why?!” He was yelling and he really wasn’t sure why. “I give everything to my family. Why can’t I have this one small thing for me?”

“You can. Just not like this.” She straightened where she stood. “You don’t have clearance to leave Tracy Island. I will not allow the doors to be opened. You’re not going, Alan.”

-o-o-o-

End Part Two


End file.
